What a difference a day makes. Yesterday morning I felt like a million bucks and was ready to take on the world with high energy and a positive attitude. A day later and I'd give alot to be back in that position.
Yesterday wasn't so bad during the day but right as I was wrapping up work I got nailed with what I call a landmine. I didn't see it coming and it blew up under my feet. I ended up staying at work later than I wanted starving and then when I got home and thought the situation was under control it blew up again and I spent all my night dealing with it again. The most irritating part of the whole ting to me was that it wasn't even my mess to start with yet somehow I was the one up all night dealing with it. So I finished up late pissed off that I was even dealing with the situation and tossed around in bed much later. I have no idea what time I finally fell asleep, but it was well after 1. So when the alarm went off this morning for my workout I was absolutely exhausted and had to go back to sleep. So when I finally got up I was still pissed about the night before and on top of that I was now mad about missing my workout in the morning. I was tired from lousy sleep and my back was sore from what I can guess was a combination of Ab work and sleeping poorly.
Anyways, my day went south in a hurry and I let it happen. I let my morale dip and that led me to wanting to just get out of work and get to lunch. And then when I got to lunch I let myself make poor choices and ended up eating some poor choices. Then the whole time I was eating that I'm getting more and more sick of it and disappointed in myself with just made me feel worse about the day and made me want to get home even more.
I finally got out of work and got home and it's amazing what a refuge working out was. It was plyometrics today and I just spent all day craving that feedback and finally being able to disappear into a workout and get a sweat going and "bleed" out all my frustrations and self-loathing and just feel better about myself was the best thing. It's funny how when you start working out sometimes you look forward to the workout being over, and after a while you find yourself looking forward to the workout itself.
I got a 1 mile run in today. Felt much better than last week. Legs feel great but my lungs have a ways to go. I'm hoping my cardio conditioning picks up soon. It's funny that I've been doing all this P90x cardio and when it comes down to it there is no replacement for simple old fashioned running.
I belive I've weathered the worst of this mental storm. Being sick is wearing me down, but I'm not letting it get in my way. I've stumbled, but I haven't fallen. I can't wait to be healthy again and get these sinus headaches and drainage and coughing and just overall unpleasantness behind me.
Back and Biceps tomorrow. It's good to know that no matter what happens, that refuge awaits me.
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